Oh, Stuff It!

      One week from today I will be stuffing my gullet with all things Thanksgiving: mashed potatoes, turkey, rolls, pie, green bean casserole, yams with marshmallows, and of course, stuffing.

      And I'll be doing it all with my family and my mom...

      ...at a friend's house!

      Oh yes. All the delights of Thanksgiving with none of the clean up.

      For this, I am so thankful.  Ha!

      But really what I'll be thankful for is the place of peace where I currently reside.  The fact that I actually feel completely comfortable having my mom come up for a holiday is just this side of a modern day miracle.  And I'm not just comfortable with it.  I'm actually looking forward to having her visit.  (No, I haven't started in on the Thanksgiving mulled wine early!)

      Beyond having my mom come up, I have recently also reconnected with other pieces of my family, and those reunions have been met with a similar sense of neutrality and objectivity.

      Last week I spoke with my oldest brother's kids ( my niece and nephew) and my ex-sister-in-law.  How 'bout them big old reconnecting apples, eh?  It's been 8 long years since I've seen or spoken to them, and yet the minute we were on the phone it felt as if no time had passed.

      See, when Mason and his wife divorced, and I finally confronted him about our childhood, he cut off all ties with me.  Since it was so screwed up, I assumed his kids and ex would want me out of the picture as well.  So we simply stopped all communications with each other. 

      But I think now (after talking with my brother's ex) that his kids felt like I had abandoned them, and there was a lot of pain for them surrounding that.  I wish that so much time hadn't gone by before realizing this, but there's no sense looking back.  We can't change anything anyhow.

      I am simply so grateful that we are all here...in the moment...together...once again.

      And it's wild!

      My niece is now 24 and has several tattoos.  (Runs in the family, perhaps!)  She's all grown up and so funny.

      And my nephew is 18 and a total love.  He played football through high school, which is a huge plus for Garrett as he discovers his cousins for the first time.  He and I have been chatting on Facebook, and he is absolutely charming.

      As for my ex-sister-in-law, she and I chatted for quite a bit and have been emailing as well.  It's so fantastic.  There's no need to discuss the past or reasons for the breakdown in all of our relationships.  There's no desire to blame or shame anyone.  We're simply all getting to know each other once again, and it is truly such a blessing of healing.

      So though I will have many, many things to be thankful for as I gorge myself next week, finding this place of peace with my oldest brother's children and his ex will be at the top of my list.

      Well that, and I'm beyond thankful for the guy who invented chocolate-covered, peanut butter-filled pretzels.

      But definitely the peace and beauty of family the most!